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Be Selfish!

‘Selfish’

It has been used as a negative word since forever but the problem with such words is that they there is no set boundary for such words!

Consent on the other hand is the word most misinterpreted by human beings. Sometimes you just want to be with yourself and you don’t go out with your friends but then you get the tag of ‘selfish’. It doesn’t matter if you are going through some emotional dis-balance or your consent doesn’t allow you to go outside, at last you have to feel guilty in case you don’t conform to the society.

Going through this moral dilemma, I sought philosophical advice through watching some of the lectures of Harvard University’s Justice with Michael Sandel. He talked about different school of thoughts like utilitarian view about overall utility i.e. accept things which are making more people happy. Although I appreciated the series but I couldn’t find my answer.I was the opposite of selfish. My own personal happiness came last every time. I thought if I could make everyone else happy it would make me happy.

But, that’s not how it works. I tried.

Why we feel awkward when we ask some friend for help but were not in touch with them from long? Is it possible to be in touch with every person you know? No, right! Again in Indian society we learn to share food but what if I don’t want to. Joey (from F.R.I.E.N.D.S.)doesn’t share food then he is cute but if I don’t share food, I am ‘Selfish’.

What I’ve come to learn is this — In order to be the best version of myself. I HAVE to come first. If you’re not selfish, you’re selfish. Selfish in that you’ve chosen to not fully show up in the world.Be more selfish. Selfish because you’ve actively chosen to not choose yourself. Selfish because the people around you never actually get to see the real you.

One can’t possibly make everyone happy and hence I choose to be selfish rather than being unhappy all the time. I don’t want to feel guilty all the time and for my own peace of mind, I will consider selfish as ‘Self-loving’ which is a good thing!

OR

Someone please change the definition of ‘Being Selfish’!

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Do What You Love!

One of the most debatable and motivational four word statement: Do What You Love!  Our society always preaches this saying that one should follow his/her dreams and stay happy. But STOP and THINK! How many of us actually do that? Society never understood the real essence of this statement. Do you want to learn more about it? Keep reading 🙂

 

First: The wrong interpretation. I remember I once said this line to my friend to motivate her and she replied that she loves sleeping! Is that how we actually understand it? I know each one of us loves to sleep. But how about a peaceful sleep after a day full of hard work and happiness?

 

Do What You Love is something with a deeper meaning. When you love something and want to achieve it, it won’t let you sleep. It will fill you with enthusiasm and excitement. You will work hard to fulfill you dream, not under any pressure but with confidence and happiness.

If I talk about my personal experience,  I always followed the path i wanted to. I was a science student till 10th standard, was planning to opt humanities, studied commerce for 3 days, took my 12th boards from science and I am a student of History now! You must be thinking that I was confused about what I wanted to do. I won’t deny this fact but no one imposed this path on me. I always did what I wanted to do. Fortunately, my family and teachers always allowed me and motivated me to decide for myself. I always knew what my dream was, but was never confident enough to accept it. I had it in my mind and heart, but never said it out loud.

 

I always wanted to be a teacher. I was always scared of seeing that as my first priority because I had that air of UPSC around me. I have always had this in my mind that becoming a civil servant will help me earn respect and position in my family and society. I never saw that as MY dream. I was looking for that one motivation and then happened YIC!

Young India Challenge. A beautiful initiative by a lovely couple who welcomed me as a part of their tribe. Those two days have been the best two days of 2016! I made friends there that I know are going to be by my side till the very end. But the most important part is that  I realised how important it is to love your dream and work hard to achieve it.

Many people think that following your heart won’t fill your pockets. I know the importance of financial stability in today’s world but won’t it be fun if you earn your living following your passion?  I am not asking you to drop your  school or college. Education is important and will help you in every sphere of life. What matters is how do you use that earned knowledge in future to follow your heart.
Dear parents, don’t force your kids into professions they are not interested in. It won’t lead them anywhere in future. They might earn a handsome amount, but that money will never fill their heart with happiness and soul with peace. On the other hand, if the things didn’t turn up the way you wanted it to be, they might end up blaming you for everything. Why take that risk of losing your child’s happiness? Educate them and let them decide for themselves. Restrictions,  after a certain limit, start creating walls of misunderstanding. All what matters for your child is to see them by their side. If at this age and point of career you will go against them, how will they handle things?

Support them in their actions.  Guide them. Motivate them. Tell them that you trust them. Tell them that you have faith in them. Trust me no one cares about what those ” chaar log” of our society say about us. All what matters is what you think about us.

Dear reader, follow your heart but do carry your brain with you. Make the best use of your talent and make your contribution in making this world a happy and a better place. Stay happy. Choose your best five people who motivate you and are there for you. After all, as Barney says in HIMYM, “nothing is LEGENDARY if you don’t have friends to see that”. 🙂 🙂

Aur jaane se pehle:

As Piyush Mishra says,

“Insaan khud ki nazar mein sahi hona chahiye. Duniya toh bhagwaan se bhi dukhi hai.”

Work hard. Follow your dreams. Turn them into success and happiness. Keep doing what you love! 🙂

unnamed.pngContributed by:

Manasi Tripathi (YIC IIT Delhi,2016)

Manasi Tripathi is a final year student of History in  Daulat Ram College, University of Delhi. In the world where people are scared of pursuing their dreams, she believes in doing what she loves. She aspires to become a professor as she loves reading and writing on various subjects. A happy soul and a very friendly person, she believes in living life to the fullest.

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‘You’ are Important

 

yic-mumbai-2016

‘Do What You Love’.

We have heard this phrase often now. But what is it that strikes you the most on hearing/reading it?

Which is the single most word, amongst all the words that form this delightful phrase, that you feel is the most relevant?

I can hear the echoes of voices screaming, the words are ‘Do (Just Do it)’ or ‘Love’.

Certainly, these action words are important. For, these are the words that will eventually keep you going. But amidst all the action, the word that we miss out on most of the times from this adage is ‘You’.

Yes. You read it right. YOU are most important. Why? Because it is ‘You’ who chooses the path and the work you want to go for. The phrase ‘Do what you love’ might end with ‘You’, but in actuality it starts with ‘You’. You need to know the needs of this ‘You’ first, to know what you love.

Become aware, whether you love something only because you were asked to love it? Or whether because your dearest friend loves it? Or whether it is only to prove any kind of superiority? If the answer to any of these is a yes, then stop right away. Just stop!

The parameters of loving anything are the same everywhere. And this ‘love’ is never going to be identical to the love of anybody else. It’s much like how Caroline McHugh puts it (link- https://youtu.be/veEQQ-N9xWU). It says that the only thing that is common between every successful individual at the top is that nothing is common between them.

If you love to talk, go out and look out for the avenues to display the evidences of your burning desire. Do you love to entertain? Then stand up and never miss the opportunities of doing so. And if you love to fight, then learn the Martial Arts and be the best at it.

It only seems that simple but needs consistent hard work and a ‘never give up’ attitude. Know your heart’s yearning, know its burning desire, know in which direction does its pointer points.

There could be some steps to follow your ‘Love’. And they are:

  • Explore that are and get to know more about it through all possible sources and opportunities
  • Surround yourself with those kind of people who help and encourage you to be you
  • Straighten up your time table, be disciplined and train yourself
  • Do the best you can to master that area/skill/interest

Don’t look for jobs that will satisfy you. But just do what you love so well that you create your own job. #DoWhatYouLove

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Contributed by:

Harshita Chavda (YIC 2016, Mumbai)

Harshita works for Community Relations at Ecomytra Organics. She is studying B.Com from Thakur College of Comm & Science and an alumna of R.A.Podar College. She is a member at YP IAA. Inspiring through a daily dose of Writing, Art – Designing is her core. She has also been trained in Classical Indian Music. She believes that the self help books are the best gift to humans. She is looking forward to go ahead with the whole initiative of inspiring, encouraging and ultimately connecting with the most amazing kind of people which HumanCircle as a whole has always helped in accomplishing.