Finding Me- Dhoondhna Khud Ko Phir Se Hai

Vibhu Garg.jpg
I grew up in a middle class family. My father is a businessman and my mother is a homemaker. My father had a struggling life. He did everything himself and took his business to great heights. Despite so much stress, he never threw his decisions and responsibilities on me. When I was in 10th, I got a bad CGPA in board examinations although my exams went really well. I filed a complaint against the same and fought for the same and after almost 3 months, my CGPA got changed. From 7.8 to 9.8 CGPA, it was a great achievement for a class 10th student. Again, the same thing happened with me in class 12th examinations, I got my papers re-evaluated and my percentage got improved. During my JEE preparation, my father and my mom used to wake up in late midnight hours and gave me milk/coffee/tea and something to eat with. They love me a lot. I have seen their struggle for me. They have been doing everything for me. After a lot of hard work, I got admission in NIT Kurukshetra in Mechanical Engineering. Well, I never knew much about engineering at that time, but somehow, I got my branch changed from Mechanical to Computer Engineering. This was an option given to first year toppers. My 3rd semester was hell, I felt as I had made a wrong choice. I failed getting an internship on-campus but after a lot of efforts and hard work, I graduated being Gold Medalist in Major Project, Computer Engineering (NITK), and was also amongst the department rank holders. Finally, I got placed in one of the finest IT companies Airtel X Labs, where I am currently working as a software engineer.
I never got real friends in my entire life. I was mere an option for them. I met here Shivam Gaddh. We work in the same department. He is more than a real brother to me. I think, he is the only support I have in Gurgaon. He always supports and motivates me and I think, I can share anything with him. I really don’t know what he thinks of me, but for me, he’ll always be the first one to know anything and everything in my life(since June, 2018). Thank you Shivam bhaiya. I am a Shiva devotee and finally Shiva has sent someone for me.
Life has always been challenging for me. Whatever I plan, it simply do not get executed at all. Things turn out to be opposite, the way I planned them off to be. But, one thing is sure, “I never quitIf I start something, I will end the same.” My personal life has taught me a lot. I have seen people backstabbing. There have been people whom I loved, cared and trusted more than anybody in this world, but, they never considered me anything in their life. I was mere an option for them. But, yes I have learned that connections are important not attachments. One of my seniors told me –“Vibhu, you’ll meet ‘N’ number of people everyday. Of them, there will be people you want to live with and there will be people who want to live with you. There is a fine line between the two. With time, you’ll get to know the people who shall add value to your life. Stay with them.” I understood, never be anybody’s option. If you remain an open option to people, they will simply use you and badly throw you out of their lives. Help people, but never compromise with your self-respect. Sometimes, a mere “NO” is way better than a mere “YES”. Never lose hope. Life is really hard and it is meant to be, otherwise it is death. Never run away from your problems, find solutions to tackle them. I used to expect people helping me, supporting me during the difficult phases of my life, but the one I thought of will always be there, were not there when I was in need of them, and eventually I found out strangers supporting and helping me out.
Life is a journey, it’s important to enjoy while living and struggling. “Welcome each and every moment in your life because Happiness is a mere choice”.
Har Waqt Khud Ko Dhoonta Hoon,
Jo Karne Aaya Tha, Kya Vo Kar Bhi Raha Hoon.
Sawal Bahut The, Jawab Ek Ni.
Ek jhoot sa bana liya tha zindagi ko,
Har waqt mano apna, mano har shaqkhs apna,
Ghar se Door, Ghar Dhoondhe Chala Tha,
Jankar Bhi Sabne, Anjana Kar Diya Tha,
Sath Rehkar Bhi Akela Kar Diya Tha,
Dost, Bhai, Sab Ban Gaye, Wajood Ban Gaya, 
Sabne, Us Chehre Ko Dekha, 
Jo Shayad Kabhi Tha Hi Nahi, 
Ab Dhoondhna Phir Se Hai, Chalna Phir Se,
Waqt Ka Kya Pata, Milenge Ya Nahi,
Aas Hai Dil Ki, Tumse Milna Phir Se Hai…..
Vibhu Garg
Delegate, YIC IIT Delhi 2019

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