I focused on my imperfections, shaped them in a more imperfect way

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Living in the society as a female is a proud thing with empty number of problems in disguise. Adding to this, a differently abled girl unfortunately has to face many sympathetic tortures. I am born differently abled, which never bothered me. When I look upon my right leg and right fingers, I don’t find it nasty, I find it beautiful. The sympathy that the society showers is the toxic thing I have ever experienced. Any sports you’ll  think you are able to do will be discouraged for sure. Doctors said I  won’t walk properly, but I did. I walk like a human with all its imperfections. My parents always supported me in taking part in elocution competitions and music, thus I went to that field, even then somewhere in my heart I knew I wanted to be a sportsperson. When I was exactly in 4th standard, one day my science teacher conducted a Q&A session in the class and I wanted to answer one particular  question so desperately, I lifted up my hands up in air.

The teacher shouted at me put your filthy and broken hands down. That’s the moment I started to go in depression, I cried, I showered my anger on my parents. Then this emotions grew up with me and I felt I am a useless mass of blood and flesh for this mother Earth. That time I was exactly broken and a sudden introspection came into my mind which is the only reason today I am writing this. I was taken to Sabari mala, (a religious place in Kerala, We have to walk a lot and climb mountains for reaching there) at the age of 2 and from my 4th age I climbed this place all alone holding my father’s hand and successfully went to this place 7 times in total. My depression was a candle light and my memories were like a wind which saved the candle from melting. I focused on my imperfections, shaped them in a more imperfect way.

They discouraged me in sports, I played badminton, they told I will not be able to put the Thala (which is put using the right hand and fingers in Carnatic music) I showed them that through my Carnatic debut concert, then for adding and shutting their mouth I showed them I can also play a violin. I usually gave them silent answers. When they told sports is not my cup of tea, I won a prize for badminton in the state competition of a particular association. I valued me as a useful individual after working in the disaster management team of Amrita for flood affected victims and to be always there for contacting the people for rescue.

Today I love myself so I do love this world, I do what I love, I write poems, do studies on ancient Indian myths and on Shaivism. I think I don’t need to inspire people. I strongly believe that every story has its own moral hidden in it, and so every depression has its own reason to cease. I enjoy solitude, I respect my intuitions and memories and I take care of my emotions, that’s all I did. I think that’s a great achievement. Expect life as it is, if we want it according to our wish then it’s only a film. Life is way more beautiful and melancholic, fun and grave, a combination of Odd and Even. Wear a smile in your face and confidence in your eyes!

Author: Vidya Lakshmi Iyer (11th YIC Alum)

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